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Very good, except we had to sit on the front row cos the cinema was so full! This led to slight feelings of nausea during the vertigo-inducing action sequences and sniggers at the actor’s huge faces, in particular Tobey Maguire’s chin, which I never realised was so double-fied.

Anyhoo, I rather enjoyed it. Venom was scary, Peter Parker was a nerd, Aunt May was an oldey, etc. Actually Peter Parker went EMO for a while, as shown by black hair and eyeliner, yes eyeliner folks, he looked better. Hot, one might say. Then he went nerdy again. Oh well. I know which Peter Parker I’d do..

Enough of that. This weekend I am away from Birmingham in the peace and quiet of Derbyshire, joy. Cue BBQ and lots of alcohol, always a good thing. 

I resent Birmingham at the moment. It’s gay.

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